sloppybitch: (bc jam don't shake)
trashmouth if you're nasty. ([personal profile] sloppybitch) wrote2020-05-16 04:08 pm

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salbutamol: (uh i sure hope it does)

[personal profile] salbutamol 2020-09-24 01:28 am (UTC)(link)
It all seems like it's about sadistic pleasure to me. It's fucked up.

( there's a stutter to the natural flow of conversation that just reeks of people not speaking the truth, or at least their whole truth, and not for the first time eddie wonders if it was always like this. memories of derry come back in drips and it's mostly the extremes – screaming in the ground at neibolt and being absolutely certain that he was about to die, laughing in the quarry so hard he snorted water and almost made himself sick – but he doesn't remember biting his tongue quite so much, and he's sure richie never had a thought he didn't immediately voice out loud.

maybe it's just part of no longer being a kid. eddie doesn't exactly have many friendships to compare it to, but he's pretty sure all he does as an adult is think one thing and then resolutely not say it. still, he doesn't have to like it. )


When did you ever not reach for the low hanging fruit? ( the thought occurs to him, fresh and totally unwelcome, that if he'd been here maybe he could have contracted with richie. no sooner does he think it, eddie's stamping it down with a viciousness he doesn't normally possess. he's just– really not going there right now. or ever, preferably. a nervous laugh should be enough to mask the way his mind suddenly runs wild, right? it's not like richie's a mind reader.

but richie said only other dude and it's a sticking point again. this time, eddie does ask. )


And it...had to be a guy? For you, I mean.
salbutamol: (071)

[personal profile] salbutamol 2020-09-24 02:07 am (UTC)(link)
Don't call me that.

( it's a half-mumbled knee jerk more than any real desire to shut richie up. a habit he didn't remember he had until the very moment he said it.

he's not annoyed that richie has someone to help the quota situation. he's not annoyed that he has a contract. he's not even annoyed that he keeps saying guy, like this is information eddie is already supposed to know and have processed.

...he is a little annoyed about that, actually, but not enough to hold it against him. maybe he has. maybe there's some childhood confession that eddie hasn't caught up to yet in the playthrough of childhood memories he'd previously wiped out.

he's not annoyed at richie, but he is...off. irritable, maybe. bristling at things that shouldn't be issues, and just because he's aware of it doesn't mean he's any closer to stopping it. )


I know about contract law, I'm a fucking risk analyst, all I do is look at that shit.

( now it's his turn to sigh. he scrubs a hand over his face too, not that it particularly helps. he's genuinely not trying to start an argument though, especially not about this, so there's an immense amount of effort taken to make sure his voice drops softer when he keeps pressing. ) But the people– person, whatever– that helps you with your "quota". That's a guy?
salbutamol: (bring the beat in)

[personal profile] salbutamol 2020-09-24 02:33 am (UTC)(link)
No point in making bank if I'm not allowed to spend it without a chaperone.

( devastating, really. eddie likes nice things. he likes having a luxury car and designer shirts and fancy watches and rings that he never wears for fear of losing or damaging them. as far as the list of grievances about this place goes, this one is pretty low, but he hates it all the same.

as far as surprises you can learn about friends in adulthood, he imagines this probably isn't all that monumental. sometimes people are gay – he heard one in ten, once, and there's seven losers so it makes sense – but eddie's still stunned into silence at the confirmation. he should say something. richie's going to think he's homophobic, or just an asshole.

it shouldn't feel so monumental. it's not even like richie's confirmation affects eddie in the slightest – except it really, really feels like it does. )


Okay. ( jesus christ, say a little more than that. ) That's...cool. I'm glad you told me. I support you?

( maybe say less )
salbutamol: (lets go to the beach beach)

[personal profile] salbutamol 2020-09-24 02:59 am (UTC)(link)
Rich, it is a big deal.

( he's speaking so quietly now, it's stupid. he's also clutching the device so tight it might just shatter in his hands, but despite the tension wound through his entire body his tone has still dropped to something much softer. gentle, even.

eddie hasn't been gentle with richie much since they were kids. there hasn't been time for it, but more than that eddie doesn't do gentle much with anyone, any more. quiet, yes, meek, more likely. but he's not soft with people. he can be, he thinks. for richie. )


You don't have to like, hide shit from me. You know that, right? I'm not– I'm not gonna judge you, or hate you, or anything. You can tell me anything.

( coming from eddie who's biting back at least twice as many words as he says it feels a bit like a cruel joke, but he says it anyway. )
salbutamol: (Default)

[personal profile] salbutamol 2020-09-24 03:23 am (UTC)(link)
Good. Good.

( he wonders how long richie has known, but you can't ask people questions like that. it's invasive, personal, and richie doesn't owe him shit in the way of answers. but he wants to know all the same. he wants to know when he knew, how he knew, if he ever felt like there was something black and toxic inside of himself that would surely ruin everyone it came into contact with if eddie ever let it out–

there's a reason he can't ask more questions, and it's this. eddie doesn't know how much he'll say, if he starts talking. he's not ready for that. )
You're mine too. Best friend, I mean. Obviously. Don't tell the others, they'll be so mad.
salbutamol: (according to the encyclopaedia)

[personal profile] salbutamol 2020-09-24 03:43 pm (UTC)(link)
You can't! Bill probably still thinks it's him.

( it's all good chucks here, but it's also a very honest confession wrapped up in a thin layer of humour. more richie's style than eddie's, usually, but he can try it on for a moment. the truth of it is he'd always felt that they had this weird little orbit inside of the bigger system of the losers. not that he hadn't fallen in with bill a lot too, even more so when it was just the four of them, but at some point afternoons at the denbrough's became reading comics in the loft space with richie.

he's really close to figuring out what that might mean, but thankfully for eddie he just keeps talking right through any significant development potential. )


You'll start a civil war between if you start telling everyone you're my favourite.
salbutamol: (and they were roommates)

[personal profile] salbutamol 2020-09-24 04:17 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't think I'm going to be nice to you any more.

( another lie, but this one feels good. he's smiling around the words and it's probably audible. he doesn't mind so much. is it really such a bad thing, to tell richie plainly that he still thinks the world of him even after a few decades of missing time?

there's every chance the world won't end, if eddie doesn't wrap his love in barbed wire. and if it does, maybe it might be worth it. it just seems that maybe richie needs to hear these things more than eddie needs to not say them, that's all. )


Richard Wentworth Tozier, you are my favourite Loser and best friend, and if you ever use this against me I'll kill you. How about that?
salbutamol: (Default)

[personal profile] salbutamol 2020-09-24 04:49 pm (UTC)(link)
Fuck you, I can be nice. I'm nice all the time.

( he's very much not that, but it's fine. everyone's allowed to project the perfect version of themselves every now and then. )

Now you're supposed to say: You're my favourite too, much more than Ben even though he grew up to be a French soccer player or whatever.
salbutamol: (you got this travis)

[personal profile] salbutamol 2020-09-24 05:09 pm (UTC)(link)
Are Brazilians better at sports?

( he's absolutely being facetious, he knows what richie said and he knows why he said it, there's just this complicated mess of something that surrounds that moment that eddie easily chalks up to the chaos of that entire dinner. reuniting a friends group like theirs was never going to be quiet or easy, and he's still shocked that no one got an itemised bill for that mess of an evening. )

Good. ( good?! good what, exactly? that he's richie's favourite, that it's always been eddie? that ben isn't about to ride off into a gay sunset with richie in his arms the moment they get back to derry? of course, eddie doesn't clarify. ) I still think most of your jokes aren't funny.
salbutamol: (but when i come around)

[personal profile] salbutamol 2020-09-24 11:20 pm (UTC)(link)
Please don't talk to me about sports, it feels like the office break room.

( like he didn't completely bring it up.

god, this is nice. why did he ever think that space from richie was what he needed to process this whole place? he's already flopped on his bed and grinning into the receiver like a schoolgirl. it's a little ridiculous, actually. )


There's a lot of shit out there to be stressed about, Richie. I'm reasonably concerned, not neurotic.
salbutamol: (when life gives you lemons)

[personal profile] salbutamol 2020-09-25 03:01 am (UTC)(link)
Not an office break room guy.

( he wonders if this is what it would have been like, if they'd been able to keep in touch. would eddie still have ended up in new york, richie in a faraway state. maybe they would have called while richie was on tour, just to check in. see how each other was doing.

it's a nice thought. nicer than it has any right to be. it's just a phone call. )


Do you know how many accidental deaths there are every year? How many people die from anaphylaxis? I do. I'm very reasonably concerned.
salbutamol: (Default)

[personal profile] salbutamol 2020-09-25 03:55 am (UTC)(link)
I have friends.

( sounds like something a person without friends would say. )

I'm pretty sure this city is full of risks. Have you been outside? It's a literal nightmare. I would literally bet my hat there's people being sued right now wishing they had someone who's job it was to assess liabilities before it gets to that stage.

(no subject)

[personal profile] salbutamol - 2020-09-25 05:00 (UTC) - Expand