An emotionally closed off asshole who's difficult to read even on a good day?
(Coming from anyone else that might have been a biting criticism, but Eddie doesn't say it like it's actually the worst thing ever. Just like Richie had fallen in love with the difficult parts about Eddie, Eddie had fallen in love with Richie and all of his walls and the way he guarded himself with ten layers of jokes. Half the time it was Richie's personality that wound up making Eddie a better version of himself anyway. He knew Richie was probably the most loving of the Losers. He just loved differently than most. Eddie was clearly fine with that.
His mouth pops open in mock-offense, a faux gasp leaving him.)
Bratty? I've...never been bratty a day in my life. Excuse you.
(But he's already grinning, not quite able to keep up that facade. Eddie wasn't much better at the romance thing either. That grin's gentler, nervous. He had been wanting to do it for real with Richie too, and some part of him was crushingly insecure about how long it's taken. He had figured he wasn't enough for Richie. His mouth gives a telling tremble and he's looking down at the water.)
I just figured...(He pauses, wondering how much he should really give away. But he's drunk enough that he doesn't wonder for too long.)
I wasn't sure...if you even wanted to? It's just. I never wanted you to feel pressured, but then I get scared if I don't try and...I don't know...seduce you or something then you might...
(Become disinterested. Leave. Find someone better. Eddie doesn't say any of that. He gives a tiny sniff, rubbing at the tip of his own nose.
He looks back up at Richie, giving a small nod.)
Yeah. I guess. I don't even know if it's about control for me. I don't think I've ever been in control of anything all my life. It's mostly because I feel I have to. Or...Because it feels like it's the only real way I know how to live anymore. I just try to make myself feel less.
(It's a blunt admission, but he figures he might as well admit as much to Richie. In this place it felt more important than ever to work numbly.)
no subject
(Coming from anyone else that might have been a biting criticism, but Eddie doesn't say it like it's actually the worst thing ever. Just like Richie had fallen in love with the difficult parts about Eddie, Eddie had fallen in love with Richie and all of his walls and the way he guarded himself with ten layers of jokes. Half the time it was Richie's personality that wound up making Eddie a better version of himself anyway. He knew Richie was probably the most loving of the Losers. He just loved differently than most. Eddie was clearly fine with that.
His mouth pops open in mock-offense, a faux gasp leaving him.)
Bratty? I've...never been bratty a day in my life. Excuse you.
(But he's already grinning, not quite able to keep up that facade. Eddie wasn't much better at the romance thing either. That grin's gentler, nervous. He had been wanting to do it for real with Richie too, and some part of him was crushingly insecure about how long it's taken. He had figured he wasn't enough for Richie. His mouth gives a telling tremble and he's looking down at the water.)
I just figured...(He pauses, wondering how much he should really give away. But he's drunk enough that he doesn't wonder for too long.)
I wasn't sure...if you even wanted to? It's just. I never wanted you to feel pressured, but then I get scared if I don't try and...I don't know...seduce you or something then you might...
(Become disinterested. Leave. Find someone better. Eddie doesn't say any of that. He gives a tiny sniff, rubbing at the tip of his own nose.
He looks back up at Richie, giving a small nod.)
Yeah. I guess. I don't even know if it's about control for me. I don't think I've ever been in control of anything all my life. It's mostly because I feel I have to. Or...Because it feels like it's the only real way I know how to live anymore. I just try to make myself feel less.
(It's a blunt admission, but he figures he might as well admit as much to Richie. In this place it felt more important than ever to work numbly.)